All Pain...

I don't know where I'm going...
Everyday, this is what I feel...
All lies..
I maybe stupid at one point..
but not all the time...
I've done this...
I went through those things...
and hiding it would not help me...
I maybe weak at this point...
It may hurt... but...
All I hope for now...
Is that everything is going on the right path...
That decision made...
is not the worst...

Helpless

Closing his eyes feeling the wind that flow in his head, descending fast while thinking...
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for the first time in his life, he felt so free. A free man who doesn't care about anything...
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This is a decision of his life and there is no turning back.
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All the things that happened, the mistakes he did... he can never bring it back
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and he was not given a chance to make everything right...
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Carrying the agony in his heart, with no regrets. Looking at things and can't do anything
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Thinking what he did 19 seconds ago. Standing in the edge of the rooftop of the tallest building...
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He failed to save the destiny that he should have..
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Stretching his hands and he embrace his faith.. remembering all the good things that she brought in his life...
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He open his eyes looking straight down feeling the wind as the end comes near..
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too late to turn it back.. all he could do is..
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I love you...
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...
..
.

Truth and the act

Dragging ones name... this is the word I can't forget. It's been a while I have not spoken one name and yet being accused of dragging it. For quite a while I have not mentioned anything about the past and yet I was accused of it. I want to have a quiet life as much as they do. Though sadness strikes me once in a while and I say it in all honesty to the only one person involve. I only want everything back to normal.

All I need is a word. To keep me forward or to pull me back to where I belong. That's what drives me. Every action made have a consequence. And today, I was pushed quite too far and I don't know if I can still go back. Deep in me, I know I still can. All it takes is the word to pull me up and everything will be dropped and mask will be removed. If this wind still needs me, the fire will keep on burning.

Split second vision

I've never been so sure. I know what I want and yet...I'm confused if all of this are meant to happen. After picking up pieces of myself, I'm so sure that I can do it. I can see myself standing and looking at two path dark and blurry and the other is clear as daylight. I walked the clear path but now it keeps on pushing me on the blurry one. I don't have the strength to push myself anymore but in my mind I know I want to keep on walking with the daylight. I will continue this, forever hunted by the vision that I have created years ago and the time I spent up to now to chase this dream.

Guiding light... please show my path, to be on the right journey. I know I've been the trouble and I need to be with my strife. It will never feel the same because it doesn't fits right. Please listen to me... Absorb me to enlighten my mind.

Shattered glass

I tried to pick it up but I was wounded. Though I know what I want, I can't do it. I never thought that this could happen. Betrayed by circumstance. Day by day the wound hurts and gets worst... made me think that this is so much more than the noise I hear about all things. I want this glass to be whole again which I know will never happen. But if I will be given a chance.. I will not think twice for this glass to be the same again when I first had it.

Full Stuff on weekend

Another weekend. Took a shot of our food for lunch. Diablo Burger lol The place - Sizzling Pepper Steak - Mooooove!

Bangs!


Hmm...

Guessing time

I rendered 4 hours at work and went home early today because I need to meet one of our BOD. I received an email earlier that she want to see me and talk to me. I wonder why.

While at work, one of my colleague asked me if she can speak with me because her problem is too much to bear anymore. Well as her big brother, I said yes and I want to help the way I can. She opened up her problem regarding what happened on the deliberation day and that she can't work with someone who take her for granted and doesn't even care bout what she do and because of that, she wanted to resign immediately. I can't blame her, but falling in-love to someone not really worth it is something that you can blame on her. I just made her realize that deciding when you are affected by hate, anger will just cloud your thinking and told her to give it a week or two. At least if she decide when her mind is clear will not make her blame herself if she thinks she made a wrong decision.

Before going home. I called my Carla and told her that I will see her. We met at her building, we went to 7/11, bought food, sat at the table and spent time together and discussed anything we can think of.

First Ever

Last Night, I claimed my price for collecting starbucks sticker. Me and my Carla arrived at emerald avenue around 10 pm. I told my Carla that I will drop by at starbucks to buy coffee. I checked my pamplet to collect stickers for their notebook and found out that last night was the last day for collecting stickers. The date was January 6, 2010. I still need 2 stickers for the christmas flavor, I ordered toffee nut but sadly its out of stock so I switched to peppermint. Now I have my first ever starbucks organizer! I'm not really into this, but trying something new is refreshing. Today, I bought my Girbaud bag before going home. It's a simple bag that will suit my style. It's been a while since I carry my own bag except my Carla's bag lol. I did not noticed it but I'm now addicted to formal wear like coat and well tie?... No ties for me. I'm more into modern formal style. My Carla noticed it and she sometimes reminds me not to wear coat if we were just going to some occasions, but I said "my coat is not that formal" She said it's okay if we were just going to the mall or watch movie lol